Jiu Jitsu: Not For Everyone

Written By: Samantha “The Wolf Queen” Seff

There are some days on the mats where everything is a chaotic mess. Maybe you are also struggling with personal matters or your emotional state outside the gym as well and it just happens to be one thing after the next. Then you are constantly smothered, swept, crushed, submitted, outmatched, out-strengthened, and basically ran circles around. We all have those days. From the flailing and overly eager and aggressive white belt, to the occasional blue belt hobbyist, to the ultra-competitive professional athlete purple belt, to the all-encompassing black belt instructor. Even when you start to climb the ranks and execute better Jiu Jitsu, you will still have these days. If you can’t handle the younger and newer and lower-ranked belts occasionally out performing you on certain days, than Jiu Jitsu may not be the sport for you. Many academies will have a sign saying to leave your egos at the door, and that isn’t a mantra that should be glossed over in the slightest.

There are many people who will get into Jiu Jitsu for the self-defense aspect, and while it is perfectly fine to be selective of your training partners to prevent injury, by never allowing yourself the discomfort of training with stronger and larger adversaries, you can never be sure how effective your self-defense training will be. In fact, you are doing yourself a disservice if the only time you find out how well you will be able to execute what you have learned is in an actual self-defense scenario. Life or death is not the time I’d take to wager on whether or not my fight, flight, or freeze reactions are going to kick in. If you can’t handle being pushed past your limits and learning to be comfortable being uncomfortable, then Jiu Jitsu may not be for you. That is not to deter anyone from stepping on the mats, but it helps to be open-minded and realistic about the sport itself. There will be days where you are the only woman training that day, or the smallest person, or the least athletic, but learning how to navigate those feelings of self-doubt and self-consciousness will make you a stronger and more resilient person and grappler.

I know many practitioners of the sport of Jiu Jitsu who have overcome many odds to be able to do what they do. From physical and medical limitations, to mental setbacks, debilitating injuries, and to surviving some incredible ordeals that would have completely broken many people. Jiu Jitsu is more than capable of being for everyone. However, if you look at certain people on the mats as your foe rather than a teammate there to help you learn or make you better, then Jiu Jitsu may not be for you. Whether it is because of their size, their stature, their gender, or their strength, you are placing limits on yourself by being close minded to those who you train with. Again, this does not mean that you can’t think of yourself and self-preservation, but at least be open to the idea that some of these people may be your most crucial and beneficial training partners for whatever goal it is you have in mind. Do not place limits on yourself by having preconceived notions and unconscious bias.

When it comes right down to it, Jiu Jitsu is a rapidly growing sport that people get into for a wide variety of reasons. Anyone is capable of stepping on to the mats and accomplishing great feats, but again, it isn’t for everyone, and that is perfectly okay. If you don’t enjoy people perspiring profusely onto your body and getting up close and personal with other people’s nooks and crannies, I definitely suggest a different sport. No one should judge anyone else for doing and enjoying whatever it is they like to do as long as it is consensual. However, should you choose to be a practitioner of Jiu Jitsu, you need to embrace all that comes with it, and yes, that means embracing the suck. There are always going to be hard days and storms that need to be weathered and plateaus that need to be dug out of, but I wouldn’t trade getting what I get to do for the world. I tell myself to suck it up buttercup and go get after it, because these dreams ain’t chasing themselves baby.

About the Author

Samantha ‘the Wolf Queen’ Seff is a professional MMA fighter in the atomweight division. She helps run a gym, Schell Shock BJJ in Fuquay Varina, NC with her fiancé. Samantha is a brown belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and competes as often as she can. In her spare time, she enjoys cooking and coming up with new recipes to add to her cookbook.

Sam is a LAF athlete and all round badass; we are lucky to have her share her writing with us.